She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
