That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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