bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
tell me about the eggs
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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