dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize