I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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