Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
