Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize