i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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