Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
