that's an acceptable place to lick
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
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