It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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