I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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