I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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