Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
