Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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