Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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