I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
