My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
