dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
