just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
