im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
