Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
