Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize
