Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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