I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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