Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
