you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
