you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize