ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize