Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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