I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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