omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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