"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
