I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
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Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
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I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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