I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
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