yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
