Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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