The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
