girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
