I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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