But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
