this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
