If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
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