Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize