**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
she looked like the before picture.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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