Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Randomize
