you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
