I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize