If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
