dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
