i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
