Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
