how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
