i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
