Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
