I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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