so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
