No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
