i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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