Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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