He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
