eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
