what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
