She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize