i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
