it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
