yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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