How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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