Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
